Embracing Wellness: Nurturing My Health and Body Positivity in My Twenties

My Journey

I have always struggled with my body image. Society puts so much pressure on women to look a certain way. Though I still have a long way to go, I have learned a significant amount about how to view myself more positively and how to truly enjoy taking care of my nutrition and health.

As a little girl, I was always the smallest girl in the class. I loved being small and dainty. It's what many people knew me for. They adored me for it. It was part of my identity. Entering into my freshman year, I was 5 ft 2 and weighed 100 pounds. I was a size 0 jeans and an XS top. There were always boys who had crushes on me. It became a normal thing for me. My junior year, I became a cheerleader. I wasn't particularly popular, but I think most would agree that I was pretty. My weight didn't fluctuate until my senior year of high school. I remembered getting fitted for my cheer uniform and going up a size in the bottoms. My cheer coach commented that I had "grown some hips over the summer". I was horrified, not wanting to ever get any bigger. I had only gained about 10-15 pounds, and it was healthy weight (weighing 115 pounds is still SO TINY).

Even when I was at my thinnest, I still felt insecure about my body. I remember thinking that my legs were too short. My belly was too pudgy. My hips and thighs were too big (in proportion to the rest of my body). After graduating high school. I went straight to college in Hawaii. People lived in bikinis, so I did too. I was always self conscious, even though I knew I was still tiny. College was the pivotal point in my weight gain. In Hawaii, all freshman had to pay for a meal plan. You would pay a fixed price for the semester, and then would have to eat all of your meals in the cafeteria. At this point, I wasn't putting any thought into what I was eating or how much. I had no ideas how many calories were healthy for me to be eating. I had never cared before, and I had always stayed skinny.

After a semester in Hawaii, I transferred to a university in Idaho. I was there for 2 semesters. I had the freedom to buy my own groceries. I could go out to eat whenever I wanted. I discovered restaurants and fast food places that my parents had never introduced me to. I went out to eat multiple times a week, buying an insane amount of food since it was so cheap. Between these two universities, I gained about 15 more pounds, weighing about 130 lbs. I was still small, but I noticed that I was gaining weight. Instead of being a size 0, I was now a size 6-8.

After those 3 semesters of school, I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I didn't have much control over what I was eating, because the members fed us. I still didn't have any concept of portion control. I didn't gain too much weight, mostly because I was walking every day. I gained about 10 pounds in 18 months.

I came home and went up another jean size. I had gained weight, but I barely had any stretch marks. I was still incredibly self conscious. I started working at a hospital as a patient transporter, which helped maintain my weight. I ended up moving to Utah and this is where things started to go downhill. I still struggled with portion control and nutrition. On top of this, I started my first office job. I was sitting down all day. I tried to go to the gym as often as I could, but it was not enough. I was struggling with the worst depression I had ever experienced. I gained about 30 pounds in the span of the whole year I was in Utah. I developed huge stretch marks on my stomach, the kind that women get when they are pregnant. I went up two jean sizes, being a size 14 now. I weighed about 170 pounds.

6 months later I got married and moved to Chile. I still weigh about the same and all my sizes are the same. I have struggled so much with how my body has changed. My identity of being petite is gone. I am now technically considered mid-sized, though I'm sure some people would look at me and say plus size. Boys stopped looking at me. People in general started treating me differently. I've been called chubby and fat. I had never experienced those things before. Being overweight in this society is incredibly painful.

I am currently on a continuous journey of self love and wellness. I want to love my body. I also want to take care of it. I want to share some methods that have been helping me improve mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I want to preface by saying that it is my goal to lose weight. It is an aspiration that I have and I strive to do it for my health and wellbeing, not just because of the pressures of society. I hope that by improving my overall health, the weight loss with be a positive consequence.

My Strategy

Exercise: Walking and Pilates

Something that I have been LOVING lately are low impact workouts. These work so well for me and make me feel so amazing. My two favorite things are walking and pilates.

I love to take outside walks as much as I can. It is amazing to connect with nature and get some fresh air. When I had a gym membership, I loved walking on the treadmill at an incline. I would watch a show or read a book and it was a great way to get some cardio in.

The second low impact workout that I've been loving are pilates. All you need are a yoga mat and your laptop. I will look up YouTube tutorials and follow them. This is an amazing way to strength train without high impact. It really helps strengthen your muscles and improve your posture. Moreover, I love yoga workouts for days when I'm feeling more tired or discouraged. They usually focus more on stretching and meditation.

Stress Management: Meditation and Magnesium

Stress management plays an important role in staying healthy mentally and physically. When your body is under stress, it tends to hold body fat. The two methods that help me with stress are meditation and magnesium.

Meditation is a great way to calm the mind and practice positive thinking. There are many free meditation videos that you can look up on YouTune that will guide you through meditating and calming the body. I recommend doing this once a day, or at least as many times a week as you can.

The second method is taking magnesium supplements. The ones that I take are from Amazon. Magnesium is proven to help with stress management and improves your mood. It relaxes your body and especially helps you sleep. I will take one at night before bed to relax and get a good nights rest.

Nutrition: Increase Protein and Eat Clean

With nutrition, it is easy to want to focus on so many things at once. I agree that if you want to lose weight, it is beneficial to go on a calorie deficit. It is great to track your macros and many people have had success with that. Some people will cut out all sugar. Whatever method you choose, make sure that it works for you and your body. These are the two things I am choosing to emphasize.

The first is to increase the protein in my diet. They say you should eat as much protein as you weigh. For example, if you weigh 170 pounds, you should eat 170 grams of protein every day. For me, this is a little unrealistic and stressful. Though, I do strive to have a high amount of protein in every meal that I eat. I try to make sure all of my snacks have protein, etc. If I choose to eat artificial protein, such as a protein drink or protein powder, I try to only have 30 grams of it a day. The rest of my protein will come from natural sources.

I try my hardest to eat clean. This means avoiding preservatives and processed food. I try to avoid chemicals or lab made food. I feel that this has a significant difference on my gut health.

I hope that these suggestions can help you in some way. Many people struggle with body image. You are not alone. I am far from perfect at it. Every day I strive to improve my health in all aspects and I implore you to do the same. Life is so much better when you can spend your time and energy enjoying it instead of feeling ashamed.